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Fast Food Fiction
Or Quick-Fic
Kids, are you tired of trying to fit in the latest novel during your minute breaks in the day? Do you long for something quick in your fiction?
Then Fast Food Fiction is the answer for you! It is your source for easily digestible fiction to tide you over 'til your bedside book.
All stories were hand-typed and designed to be written or read in under a minute. (Depending on whether you're a speed-reader or not.) Most are stream of conciousness, but we here at FFF try to give it some kind of plot, however brief.
Every week it is randomly loaded from my massive vault filled with quick-fic. Remember! Some characters and storylines are recurring, so be sure to check back daily. I will keep the five most current posts active every week.
Oh, yeah! To ensure that this kind of fiction continues, please be sure to click on the Diplognat's sponsers!
Today's story:
In Want of Drink
By JJ Frederick
The old man drunkenly approached someone, anyone on the street and said, “Hey, I need a drink.”
He asked this of anyone, everyone who was near, and no one looked him in the eye, or responded with more than a ‘No, thank you.’
Then he said again, “I need a drink,” to a not-so-old man who stopped, looked him in the eye and said, “I’ll tell you what old-timer, I’ll buy you a cup of coffee instead.”
“Coffee,” the old man said, swaying, “I don’t need coffee, I need something to drink!”
“Suit yourself,” the not-so-old man said continuing on his way.
The old man stood swaying, enraged at the exchange. ‘Who was he to judge me!’ he thought, ‘I just need a drink. A man’s got to do something to keep warm.’
The old man let his anger melt away then found someone else.
“I need a drink,” he said.
The Checkout
By JJ Frederick
Alberta looks anxiously at the total as it climbs, finally reaching $71.26. "Did we go over our limit? Yup, we did," she turns towards the rotund checker, "He sets a spending limit of fifter dollars when we shop for groceries.
Alberta's husband, Glen says, "Oh well," and starts to scan his card, but stops. He turns to Alberta and says, "You know this has to last us two weeks."
Alberta says with false confidence, "Oh, it will."
"You sure?"
"Yeah. We'll be fine."
Glen scans the card, hoping he has enough room for the 16 2-liter bottles of soda, 4 Hungry-Man dinners, 4 boxes of macaroni and cheese, 2 gallons of milk, 3 boxes of cereal, 4 boxes of popsicles, 6 frozen pizzas, and a copy of Stranger Than Fiction.
However, the card doesn't go through.
Glen utters a 'Hunh' and tries again, but no go. He walks away from it all and says, "Forget it."
Alberta is not willing to give up so easily and grabs the card from Glen's hand.
"It ain't gonna go!" expresses Glen.
"Honey..."
"It ain't gonna go! What part of ain't gonna go, ain't gonna get?"
Alberta quietly ignores him and swipes the card and says, "Honey, I love you."
The checker waits with a patient smile as the result is the same.
"I told you it ain't gonna go! Let's just forget it."
Alberta doesn't understand, "We have over $700.00 in our account and they ain't gonna let us get groceries?"
"No. Let's go."
Alberta turns to the checker and asks him to take off the movie, the Hungry-Man's, the mac and cheese and two of the soda bottles, bringing the total to $48.76.
Alberta tries again. Same result.
"It ain't gonna go. What part of ain't gonna go, ain't gonna get?"
By this time the manager has arrived to watch the proceedings. In fact, since it was a slow spell, many checkers and patrons were watching. Rather than being embarassed any further, Glen says, "Let's go," and walks out the door without another word.
Alberta turns to the checker and people behind her in line and says, "Sorry. We'll have to get this later," and she leaves as well.
The checker and the manager start filling a cart so they can return the products to the shelves, the faint comingling of Old Spice and Primo their only reminder of what has just transpired.
Love Scent
By JJ Frederick
“I love you,” said the blind man. He was walking past a woman with the most beautiful smell.
“Excuse me?”
“I love you. I can’t explain it, but I do.”
She leaned close to him, her smell intoxicating him all the more. Her lips brushed his, but not quite a kiss.
The blind man’s breath rushed inward, trying to fill the void that occurred. He could hear her smile.
“I love you too,” she said and walked away leaving her lingering scent.
Then all of the world’s sounds and smells rushed in to the blind man’s remaining senses. He tried to hurry after her, but it was fruitless, she was gone.
Years later, the blind man was at a friends wedding and the smell of gardenia’s mixed with orange and… something else had entered his nostrils. The smells had come from floral arrangements and… something else. He couldn’t quite figure it out, but it was the closest he had ever come to finding that scent. The closest he would ever come to finding love.
Valerie's Hollywood Adventure
By JJ Frederick
Hiding in the bushes Valerie Protero adjusts her binoculars. George Clooney is leaving his home in the Hollywood Hills. Valerie waits until his car has driven off before she walks to the wall surrounding his house with a grappling hook.
She takes a deep breath. If there is a time to turn back, this is it. Her heart beats with anticipation. If she can get in there and hide, George may come home find Valerie and fall madly in love with her. It happens all the time.
Taking in another breath she hurls the hook over the wall. Alarms sound, dogs bark in the distance. Valerie takes off running towards her car hidden in the bushes. She should never have tried this.
The Abduction of Vanilla Putrescence
By JJ Frederick
At the parking lot outside the shopping mall, Vanilla Putrescence finds herself wishing she were anywhere but there. She doesn’t want to shop for pants, since she can never find any that she likes that fit her. If she does, they’re either outrageously expensive or some hideous color that doesn’t go with anything in her wardrobe. She sits for a moment, mentally preparing herself for the marathon ahead, and then she exits the car. Only to find a man who now has his hand over her mouth. He whispers calmly in her ear, “Don’t scream and I won’t hurt you.” Roughly he shoves her into the back of a van. Park Mendelson is at that moment walking to his car and thinks he hears a scream. He looks around, concerned, but everything looks normal, everyone is seemingly normal. Park shrugs, opens his car door and leaves the mall.
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